I have to admit that I choked on my coffee whilst reading this😂. Never underestimate the importance of fromage and pain in French culture. I learnt this the hard way when I lived in the Suisse romande.
The Swiss it turns out are very particular. Nevermind the correct way to cut a particular type, it was often more a case of which particular artisan creamery the cheese should originate from or never serve Tomme Vaudoise when your guests are expecting a Tomme Neuchâteloise… as to the type of cheeses and their ratios required to make a fondue? Wars have been declared for less!
Bread? Assuming we are talking about the humble baguette (other types of bread are available) then obviously disks… Except if you are having a lengthwise slice slathered in jam with your morning cafe or as a sandwich (a separate topic - to which I humbly draw your attention to Jean-Jacques Beineix’s “Diva”and the scene where Gorodish explains to Alba the art of making the perfect sandwich).
As to the Bise, it all depends on how attractive your school exchange hosts daughter looks to a very impressionable 13 year old moi…
As a french, I hate the bise !! I try to arrive late at a party and wave my hand at everyone and say hi as loud as I can and it amazes me how shocked a lot of people are. I just can't do it anymore....in the south where I now live they do 3 bises 😫 I just can't anymore and refuse to do it in large gatherings.
As per usual, j'adore tes posts, ils me font beaucoup rire.
That's why I think travelling abroad when possible is amazing (or having foreign friends), it makes you realise the things you do or don't in your culture.
Spot on! Also, the seating arrangements for meals…in one of my early trips to visit the in-laws I remember making the mistake of plopping myself down next to *gasp* my sig other!
Ack, the Bise. My sister lived in France for 20 years and has French kids and ex husbands, so I’ve visited often. Plus, I love it. But, man the Bise fucks me up. I usually come in too hot or forcefully grab someone’s shoulder and get it over with, always leaving the interaction awkwardly. I remember one time visiting and my sister demanded we go to some random chain restaurant outside of town because she was too tired to greet everyone.
Hahaha I also always come in too hot or accidentally start giving an American hug! I am getting used to the bise and can appreciate it but it was a journey.
I loved this. I'm an English woman living in Spain and there are plenty of cultural pitfalls here but nothing like the those in France. I worked for Lancôme cosmetics in the UK for 13 years and made an idiot of myself every time I had to go to the Head Office in Paris, even when I spoke the language pretty well. Oh God, the bloody bise!
Trying to find spinach when I first arrived in France only to be told OF COURSE there is no spinach because it is not in season blew my little farm factory american mind--in the best way. I love envisioning Sim telling me strawberries aren't ready yet and hereby defer all my future produce shopping to him.
The Bise. How much do I hate it. The number of bise is regional and I always mess up. Even when I ask “on fait combien?” Also when I was a kid I used to try and hide so i avoided the whole thing altogether. But the rules are there. Break one and my father would say “ca ne ce fait pas. “
This huggy American was once told by the young teenage son of a French friend (in France) “Do not hug anyone! French people only hug when someone dies.” 🤷🏼♀️😬🤣
If I had a nickel for every time I was told there are no rules, only to find the MOST rules! This posts resonates so much. Thank you for putting a common experience into words!
This is all so true 😄 it's also confusing for us French. For example for the bread, on my mom side, it's with the hands at the table, but on my dad side that's a no go! Always in the kitchen with a knife. The waiting for everyone to start eating is really ingrained in me too, my husband always make fun of me because that's really not a thing here in Denmark, but I just can't start before everybody is at the table and eating. As a kid you get scolded if you start before 🙃
I love your take on the culture—so sharp, so funny, and so richly observed. You express things I’ve felt a hundred times but never quite found the words for.
It really captures what it feels like to live between cultures.
“B. they will tell you it doesn’t matter when in fact, it really and truly does.”
And you will likely only find this out when your French host raises their eyebrows and declares, “ah bon, c’est original, ça.”
I have to admit that I choked on my coffee whilst reading this😂. Never underestimate the importance of fromage and pain in French culture. I learnt this the hard way when I lived in the Suisse romande.
The Swiss it turns out are very particular. Nevermind the correct way to cut a particular type, it was often more a case of which particular artisan creamery the cheese should originate from or never serve Tomme Vaudoise when your guests are expecting a Tomme Neuchâteloise… as to the type of cheeses and their ratios required to make a fondue? Wars have been declared for less!
Bread? Assuming we are talking about the humble baguette (other types of bread are available) then obviously disks… Except if you are having a lengthwise slice slathered in jam with your morning cafe or as a sandwich (a separate topic - to which I humbly draw your attention to Jean-Jacques Beineix’s “Diva”and the scene where Gorodish explains to Alba the art of making the perfect sandwich).
As to the Bise, it all depends on how attractive your school exchange hosts daughter looks to a very impressionable 13 year old moi…
As a french, I hate the bise !! I try to arrive late at a party and wave my hand at everyone and say hi as loud as I can and it amazes me how shocked a lot of people are. I just can't do it anymore....in the south where I now live they do 3 bises 😫 I just can't anymore and refuse to do it in large gatherings.
As per usual, j'adore tes posts, ils me font beaucoup rire.
That's why I think travelling abroad when possible is amazing (or having foreign friends), it makes you realise the things you do or don't in your culture.
Haha arriving late and waving once at everyone is my favorite way to enter a gathering. We need to make this socially acceptable.
It is ;-)
Love you illustrated it yourself :)
I was inspired by the blue greens of the Roquefort holes 😬
Spot on! Also, the seating arrangements for meals…in one of my early trips to visit the in-laws I remember making the mistake of plopping myself down next to *gasp* my sig other!
Yes gotta wait until the host tells you where to sit 😆
Oh I didn’t know that one!
Ack, the Bise. My sister lived in France for 20 years and has French kids and ex husbands, so I’ve visited often. Plus, I love it. But, man the Bise fucks me up. I usually come in too hot or forcefully grab someone’s shoulder and get it over with, always leaving the interaction awkwardly. I remember one time visiting and my sister demanded we go to some random chain restaurant outside of town because she was too tired to greet everyone.
Hahaha I also always come in too hot or accidentally start giving an American hug! I am getting used to the bise and can appreciate it but it was a journey.
Lost in etiquette translation.
I loved this. I'm an English woman living in Spain and there are plenty of cultural pitfalls here but nothing like the those in France. I worked for Lancôme cosmetics in the UK for 13 years and made an idiot of myself every time I had to go to the Head Office in Paris, even when I spoke the language pretty well. Oh God, the bloody bise!
I live in fear of incorrectly cutting the cheese in France.
Thank you confirming it’s not just me!
Trying to find spinach when I first arrived in France only to be told OF COURSE there is no spinach because it is not in season blew my little farm factory american mind--in the best way. I love envisioning Sim telling me strawberries aren't ready yet and hereby defer all my future produce shopping to him.
I had to justify the strawberries I bought by telling him I saw French people buying them so it was okay 🤪
The Bise. How much do I hate it. The number of bise is regional and I always mess up. Even when I ask “on fait combien?” Also when I was a kid I used to try and hide so i avoided the whole thing altogether. But the rules are there. Break one and my father would say “ca ne ce fait pas. “
As the parent of a French child, this helps me to know what I’m supposed to say to him when he breaks a rule 😝
This huggy American was once told by the young teenage son of a French friend (in France) “Do not hug anyone! French people only hug when someone dies.” 🤷🏼♀️😬🤣
Oh yeah, I’m very guilty of that. I accidentally hugged my in laws when I met them. At least he gave you warning!
If I had a nickel for every time I was told there are no rules, only to find the MOST rules! This posts resonates so much. Thank you for putting a common experience into words!
Ah the French way…your post is hilarious…love it. There’s sooo much material there for your posts!
This is all so true 😄 it's also confusing for us French. For example for the bread, on my mom side, it's with the hands at the table, but on my dad side that's a no go! Always in the kitchen with a knife. The waiting for everyone to start eating is really ingrained in me too, my husband always make fun of me because that's really not a thing here in Denmark, but I just can't start before everybody is at the table and eating. As a kid you get scolded if you start before 🙃
I love your take on the culture—so sharp, so funny, and so richly observed. You express things I’ve felt a hundred times but never quite found the words for.
It really captures what it feels like to live between cultures.
Thank you! It’s good to hear I’m not the only person who is confused or making mistakes!!